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Could it be that the journey to Bethlehem is paved upon the road of our own DNA?

28 years ago, my world as I knew it fell completely a part. The dam broke and rivers of tumultuous emotion from the depths of my being began crashing through into consciousness. With these came the devastation and complete demise of the survival structures created thus far at age 18. Waking life became a journey saturated with unexplained terror, traveling through an unknown and very much underground wilderness. The people in my life went on around me, their structures still very much intact, as I began  the deep sea mission through caves of murky unformed parts of self, long left by the wayside and now wanting to come back into wholeness. It was very much a journey to the depths to retrieve everything lost, to restore the genetic material of my DNA into the light-being in matter that was the true intention of this birth. “Talk about your fixer upper!” It was a mess. A mess of scattered unrecognizable pieces laced with self repellence, unforgiveness and terror of being known. Well the good news was that the light had finally broken through and the bad news was that: yes, the light had finally broken through!. But now, I was the mother of all these pieces, and it was my task to somehow return them all home to the beautiful pristine re-combination they once new before the fall into separation.

Looking back now, I see that throughout this whole journey there have been and still are, two main tasks to accomplish: 1)  the task of restoring and aligning the potential genetic material of self and 2) the journey to find a place in which this potential can be nourished to its full flowering. Now after studying and experiencing something called “Peak states” work which highlights in utero experiences and their effect on psycho-spiritual development, I know that these two themes are the first 2 major tasks a spirit faces upon entering matter: conception and implantation. While conception achieved to its fullest is experienced as a sacred marriage between the masculine and feminine ( sperm and egg) and a glorious exchanging of this core genetic material, implantation involves finding a place on the mother’s womb wall for this seed to have a space to be nourished and to grow to it’s full potential. Here, you, the seed, find a place to put down your roots and experience your mother joining you in partnership to bring forth the maximum potential of your genetic material, providing the most optimal environment possible to carry out  the plan of your soul’s recipe and enabling the most full expression of you into matter.

Well, Suffice it to say, my experiences of both conception and implantation were pretty disastrous, the church got bombed at conception and there weren’t no room at the in at impantation. Otherwise, everything was just fine. So at 18 when all hell broke loose, I was back in the womb for a do-over to get it right the second time. to both achieve successful conception and successful implantation and in a very real sense, become the womb that would house this 24 year process of second birth. No wonder I was not able to get it right the first time! For the journey, I would become both the mother and the embryo growing within my own womb, living in the topside and the pre-birth world at the same time, forced to make sense of both for neither would be denied. The pressure to make money to support the outside world would be rivaled only by the demand to provide nourishment for the growing embryo. The task has been and continues to be daunting. The only way to feed both parts of self is to find a way to earn money that actually contributes to –the upliftment, healing and continued growth of the embryo. This is really where I am right now as I write these words. And I believe that this is a place where many of us find ourselves right now, living in a world who’s structures reflect separation and very compromised levels of light, how do we feed this precious embryo of light within us that craves such joy and light

To  begin to answer this question, I want to share a marvelous dream that I had.

 In the dream I was a human embryo and from my naval, there was a chord reaching out into the universe to connect with the cosmic mother. The chord was made of living butterflies!! I woke in awe to realize that my process of seeking place was actually occurring on 2 levels at once. While my  pre-birth self was struggling to find my birth mother’s womb wall, my 42 year old self was, at the same time, desperately reaching out to find the womb wall of  the Cosmic Mother. Then I realized that all of us at this time are, in one way or another, having to tune into this cosmic mother. She and she alone can tell us our place in the larger plan. Without her our life feels as lost as that fertilized egg floating in oblivion of disconnection to it’s birth mother, We, like that egg, are in need of the instructions for where to go and what to do that only our cosmic mother has, telling us our roles in birthing the body of her magnum opus. The next great birth in our cosmos.

I want to go back to my dream for a moment and share the magnificent multi colored vibrance of the butterfly umbilical chord.:  my umbilical chord was actually made of huge bunches of living gorgeously beautiful rainbow colored butterflies braided, thick rows of them forming the spiraling chord reaching up into the black void of space to join with the cosmic mother. It was so magnificently awesome. I love the butterflies being the actual material of the umbilical chord: they the creatures of metamorphosis, they, whose new form only rises out of the old form’s complete surrender, they who wait in darkness as their previously held bodies are rendered into formless goo where the imaginal cells are enabled to achieve the correct alignment that yields the new and glorious creature of flight. There is so much to learn from the butterfly, the veteran species of death and re-birth, the one who knows intimately the process of surrendering to higher intelligence to be fully remade.

Like the butterfly’s journey, this is a time of great pre-birth and formlessness, often appearing chaotic and even senseless and cruel. These are chaotic times that we feel and see inside and out. But if we can hold onto the bigger picture and always remember to recover the knowing that a much grander intelligence than we is at work here and it is making something marvelous, perhaps we can begin to lay back and allow ourselves to surrender to the process, knowing that we are being re-made in a form that is truly useful to the divine intelligence behind it all. To do this we must open to let ourselves be guided by forces that may seem alien and often times will take us right into the jaws of the dragon, right into our deepest pain, And this is absolutely where our higher self most wants us to go in order that we feel what we have been resisting and re-member the rejected parts of self back into our beautiful hearts, bringing light to the darkness and darkness into the light.

This is the work of the divine mother we are all being asked to become. We are all like Mary, carrying our bundle of wounds and pains pregnant with our own rememberment to birth the Christ child within. Only, from our partnership with the divine can we birth the structures that will be the vibrational match to quell our own specialized appetites and our own totally unique strands in this great web that remembers the new earth. Each one of us carries a potential life form that is the highest answer to the divine’s call to birth heaven on earth. This is how we, in our small lives, can partner hand and hand with the divine intelligence to transform the present day grid ( expressing largely in fear and separation consciousness) into the new grid (that will be the living expression of unity consciousness and celebration, governed by divine love and reverence for all of life.) So, in a sense we are like Mary traveling through the darkest night, but unlike Mary in that we are truly pregnant with our own homes: homes made of love, light and beauty, ;homes fashioned from the beauty that we have recovered and will continue recovering in the days to come from out of the darkest night; homes fashioned out of the incredible mother-love that it has taken to gather, again and again, the broken pieces into the central fires to come home. Each time achieving a more perfect order, each time coming to the devastation and bringing the incoming wounded into the heart to be polished so lovingly and washed so pristinely clean by our tender tears; homes brought into existence by our hunger for what is beautiful and what is right.

 Here I am reminded of words to Enya’s song, “ May it be”. May it be an evening star shines down upon you. May it be when darkness comes your heart will be true. You walk a lonely road. Oh how far you are from home. May it be the shadows call will fly away, May it be your journey on to light the day. When the night has overcome, we will rise to find the dawn. A promise lives within you now, A promise lives within you now. “ A promise lives within all of us now and lying wait in the unexpressed potential of this moment is the genetic material of unity consciousness in it’s beautifully and fully expressed form, a new earth and a glorious destiny for us all. Thank you to all of us for all we are doing to bring this world into being!

Sarah Adams is a teacher, musician, artist, healer and minister in the Portland area who works with children, and the creative spirit in people of all ages. Through the mediums of music art, movement, sound healing dramatic play, guided imagery and dream work, she helps people to access their authentic identities and align with their connection to the divine plan. Sarah specializes in areas of bringing hope, inspiration and nourishment to those weary of the fear and despair that are the ever-present offspring of  the current-day grid of separation consciousness, assisting them in illuming the path ahead and finding satisfying meaning to the great journey of becoming. Sarah can be reached at sarahsparkle65@comcast.net, www.sarahadams.org

                           Joy to life, joy to seasons, joy to every living being. Joy to all beneath the moon and sun

Joy to life joy to seasons joy to evey living being, joy to all and peace to everyone joy   psalm 63

To you who hears our song  who makes the mountains strong

The hope of all the earth and sea even silence sings

Joy to etc.

At all the ends of the world, creation sings in awe at the wonder of the evening and the wonder of the dawn you call forth joyfull song

Joy to… chorus

You remember the earth with sweet water sending rivers to satisfy her ground, make her soft with showers and bless all that grows. The hills rejoice all around.

Joy to Chorus

Repeat: joy to all and peace to everyone. Joy to all and peace to everyone

I love you, you love me too. I love the nature, you love the nature too. How much love can we hold in our hearts, 3x How much love

How much love can we hold in our hearts. How much love can we hold in our hearts. How much love can we hold in our hearts. How much love can we hold in our hearts

How much love can we hold in our hearts. How much can we hold in our hearts. How much love

Pacha mama

 Am free so free flower and a bea bird in a trea, dolphin in the sea. I fly high so high like an eagle in the sky and when my time has come I will lay me down and die and when my time has come I will lay me down and fly

Pacha mama I’m coming home to the place where I belong

2x

I am free to be me be the being that I see how to rise and not to fall, being one in loving all

There is no high no low there is nowhere else to go accept inside a little star telling me just who you are, inside a little star telling you just who you are.

Pacha mama I’m coming home to the place where I belong

Sarah is a song weaver and multi-dimensional channel  who carries deep and profound cosmic mother energy and Oshun is

Spiraling Toward Joy with OShun and Sarah

All coordinates are set for ascension, and we are going home!

So, I am becoming my own foundation, something all my own, completely my own

I would like to have now full access to who I am and what I came to teach humanity and how I came to be a wayshower. I need full connection to my Andromedan, Pleiadian, Sirian, lyran, Arcturian guardian self, and I need to know which one of these wishes most to work through me. I am definitely ready to receive my assignment for this next period on Earth.

I know that through indigo 3 contract arresting armaggedon future link, I have been a large part of changing the Earth’s trajectory, releasing her into the proper trajectory for new Earth arrival. It was like catching an object hurling through space on one plane, holding it in that position and releasing the grip of armaggedon future, like pulling off a heavy weight that was weighing her down and keeping her in negative alien grip of lock step into subconsciousness of collective humanity and her global brain into armaggedon future. So, I understand all this.

I understand that at my in utero experience I was seeded with aquafari and reptilian/human 3d lock down DNa configuration side by side, and that the experience of dying and merging with the oneness field and then being sent back into the embryo was soooo excruciatingly horrific that it set up a restraining wall that would hold back the merger of two species DNA until the Earth grid and of course, my psyche and body could support such a merger. This was major Nephilim contract coming due for the Christ so that the Christos mission on Earth could be reclaimed from out of the hands of the NA. And we did this on Summer Solstice eclipse

I had the massive dream of the penis, the fist and the birth of divine child. I saw the holy trinity of christos Sophia architecture returning to the Earth with the return of the Christos leading the way

I learned from the Sirian guardians that hasteput anchored 5D Christos,  Ahkenaton anchored 7D Christos template, jeshua anchored 9D . They had all anchored a portion of the Christos blueprint, but that we here in 2020 Earth have now succeeded in birthing the 11the dimensional version of the Christic body template so this is brand new playing field never achieved on Earth or maybe anywhere. It is the most complex blending of spirit and matter ever achieved which opens up the resurrection codes of a majestic nature more exquisite that we can imagine. I was receiving this entire download on my video of June 23^rd 2020 . Then on June 29^th, all hell broke loose as the 11^th dimensional template  begins its merge with the 1, 2 and 3D bodies. This is when the highest dimensional aspects of my dna began a full merging with the lower dimensional aspects which was a wild ride through hell. I believe this was the moment when I was going body to body with the guardia architecture and entities holding the 2D 5D split in place that was fighting sooo hard to maintain armaggedon trajectory.  Tonight, July 2^nd it feels like I am breaking through the final frequency fence in my solar plexus that has maintained this split. That is why I am up at 4 in the morning PDT typing all of this.

And so, what a ride. What a major time this is as we head into our 3^rd and final eclipse of this massively powerful gateway set to receive the resurrection codes, freedom codes, revelation codes.

And I am ready to receive my role as the very specific  wayshower that I, alone came to be as I ground myself fully into this body of Earth. And it has not been time for this until now even though I have been trying and trying. The greatest priority was to accomplish the arresting of the armaggedon trajectory of Earth. That was put before anything else. All else so ridiculously secondary to this foundational necessity, the main reason I came. And so at a human level, I understand why I have failed at everything I have tried and not made a name for myself or a job for myself in this dimension yet. I get it now. I understand the perfection of the timing to keep the mission on track! It had to be this way, a continual descent for 36 years until I reached the meeting point of the rehabilitation zone, the leverage point that would enable me to free Earth from the death shackles as I freed my own body, and together we fly free. Together we all fly free now, beautiful family of light. This heavy harness has been released now from her body, and we are going home!

This post will soon be accompanied by a video, but I wanted to memorialize this day, July 17th 2020 for the monumental shift that was made today in the identity of self. Last night the pain and the drama pulled for my attention and successfuly achieved my attention for the last time. Enough was enough the second dimensional parasitic identity of the needy victim ended its game, and I was able to open the door and feel myself as the creator of my reality. I was able to experience myself as the mistress of ceremonies, the master self nourisher that could stand at the center of my self and draw everything up into sacred communion with itself. Or even if not so grand a task, I could now stand without drama and know that I am fully responsible for the quality of my experience and am supported in this knowing to exist without collapsing into despair but rather begin actively participating in learning to spin the wheel of joy that lights up my being and brings happiness and celebration to the inner population of all parts of self. This great festival hall exists within me, and all I have to do is walk into the room and give my love here, give my attention here, and everyone and everything begins to rise up and dance. Sacred communion is building ever more as I gaze back upon the self, finally coming home to blossom this great field of becoming. I am so grateful for this journey. So grateful to know myself as who I truly am the self at the center of creation!

Sometimes I feel like I am alone in a ram-shackled dilapidated abandoned structure that was once a home but now feels like ruins. When I saw this picture, it felt like a match although my hair is brown and I usually don’t walk around in a white fomal dress, but the rest is pretty spot on. And it makes me wonder, where did these feelings of utter desolation come from. I cannot pretend to understand, but it is the karma that is etched in my DNA. Lately i have felt deep rage at God and the universe for leaving me alone with nothing but this, this feeling, that never seems to exhaust its persistence.

It is in these days of summer turning to fall and the deep dark empty nothingness that waits within the self in times of aloneness that I begin this post. These last days have been taking me to the core barrenness of the saddest moments on this planet, to the moments when I was left to die in a dumpster to the moments when I was barried alive in ancient Egypt to the moment when I died hanging in the air after the umbilical cord was ripped away prematurely and the lifetimes where my family or my tribe left me alone and I wandered for days and then died alone in the wilderness. It is the experience of noone coming back for me when I needed their return desperately. Each day alone feels like I am standing in a chasm that has no bottom, and yet this is my charge to fill this emptiness. And there are times when it begins to feel like it is filling, like passive circuits lying on the basement floor are beginning to find their way back together. It is almost like light strands on a Christmas tree whose fuses begin to spark and communicate again with the lights next to them on the strand, and then a thread of communication begins to wake up the whole strand. It is at these moments that it feels like the dark sea of aloneness is actually retreating.

It is hard to believe I have been swimming in these waters for nearly 37 years and still the darkness is so thick. It defies all logic. The designers of this game of separation consciousness really out-did themselves, and the special effects are really good. The invaders should win countless academy awards for their set design, costumes and script writing. I am not sure what moved me to begin writing this piece, but my heart and mind wanted to come into communion and put some words down on to this page and begin unburdening some of the many tangled thoughts inside. So I am doing just that.

My top-side life is mostly about finding a way to make it through the day. My husband is happy at work all day without me. He has his staff and his friends and his purpose while I have nothing, a whole lot of nothing, at least it feels that way. How can it feel so empty when I truly have so much. I just want to live in community where people have the resource of each other. Is that too much to ask? And yet, when I think of having someone else move in, I don’t get a yes to that either which leaves me to think that there is richness in this time alone. Is it possible there is something being invoked through this time of soul starvation, like a drought so severe that its agonizing call has the power to crack open the sky and bring the rain somehow. Tonight it is especially strong this inner rage at being alone. This feeling that God has let me down. Will it ever end? It feels bottomless in this now of 10-10-2020. I honestly don’t know what feelings and thoughts are going to spill out next. It is kind of like butternut squash as in no matter how much you sweeten it, that squash persists with its bland flavor. But tonight I did put enough maple syrup on it to make it palpable. What component of my life represents the maple syrup, and how do I get it onto the part of my life that feels so bland to the taste? Isn’t there meant to be more to life than this, so much more. I feel something is just about to explode into blossom just behind the curtain and still the barrenness persists at least for this moment which feels like it extends into eternity.